Entering therapy is often a big deal. It can take a lot of time, money, and mental space, so of course you want it to work. But how does it actually work? What makes therapy effective? In this post, I am not going to talk about evidence-based practices and treatment approaches (e.g. EMDR, CBT etc) [...]
Before you go on reading, look at your last 24 hours and come up with one or two things that didn't go the way you wanted. This could be something small like burning your tongue on a cup of hot tea, or something more jarring like a comment from your partner that you didn't ask [...]
One of the reasons why I do the work I do is because life has dealt me my own share of hits and blows. Like you, I am not immune to loss and pain; no one is. Thirty years ago on this day, it came on a very cold early morning in February; the sun [...]
As adults, we are quick to brush off feelings of hurt. In public, we cover them up with a smile or a wave of the hand. It's not that bad, really. In private too, we may dismiss when we feel misunderstood, put down or overlooked. Instead of letting ourselves have our feelings, we tell ourselves [...]
When people come to therapy, they usually come because they are in pain. Life hurts, and it hurts more than they alone can handle. But while pain brings them to counseling, it is often not the pain that needs to be changed. It is the fear that engenders it. Pain is not a bad thing. [...]
As a professional therapist, I don't hold a monopoly on therapy. Therapy can be many things, and thank God for that! Talking with a friend, crying, practicing yoga, gardening or going on a solo backpacking trip can be effective as well. So is getting a tattoo. Until recently, I never thought about getting inked, but [...]
As I was reflecting on the coming of the new year, I decided that this is going to be a Year of Abundance. Over the holidays, we tend to wish each other health, happiness, love and prosperity. We invoke the spirit of abundance. But when the holidays are over, we recycle the greeting cards and [...]
All forms appearing in the vast three thousand worlds I offer as the supreme mudra of the body. Please grant the siddhi of unchanging form. All sound, and sources of sound, appearing in the vast three thousand worlds I offer as the supreme mudra of speech. Please grant the siddhi of unimpeded speech. All the [...]
What a busy time of year it is for me, the night-time weaver! I need to make long yards of cloth to fill those orders without pause or starting to run a fever! As days grow short, the nights grow long, and so do my assignments to weave dark cloaks of winter night in due [...]
Each relationship has a trunk of censored communication. It is stored in a corner far from daily traffic, and has two identical keys. You have one, and your partner has the other. Most days, months or years the key sits on a high shelf because you have no reason to use it. Or maybe you [...]