Every now and then I have a client who doesn't show up for a scheduled session and I don't hear from the client again even after I check in. What I do "hear" though is a no. It may not be an openly communicated no, but it's a no nevertheless. A choice was made, and [...]
If there is one thing I hear over and over when working with couples it's this: "We are not communicating". This can mean a number of things: 1) Partner A talks (a lot); partner B is not listening. 2) Partner A talks (a lot); partner B doesn't. 3) Partner A makes a comment; partner B [...]
Teenagers are not the only rebels. Many of us 18 and older are rebels still. We are rebels with a cause. We continue to fight our aging parents and try to make room for who we want to become. We are, it seems, stuck in a state of arrested development. Maybe you didn't get to [...]
I must have been eleven or twelve when I saw this film. What I remember most vividly about it were the main characters: grown men and women actors with the voices of young children. And not only that, they also behaved like children: they bickered, grabbed, pulled hair, pouted and threw tantrums when something wasn't [...]
Anger is something we all deal with. But how we deal with it is different from one person to another. Some of my clients are really good at bottling it up. They turn their anger inward and become depressed, passive aggressive, or ill with inflammatory disease. These are clients who tend to choose their words [...]
Each relationship has a trunk of censored communication. It is stored in a corner far from daily traffic, and has two identical keys. You have one, and your partner has the other. Most days, months or years the key sits on a high shelf because you have no reason to use it. Or maybe you [...]
When sadness knocks on your door because the one you love has turned away, become friends with your tears. Sit in your car without starting the engine, and wait for the downpour. When it comes, accept that water is wet. Accept that your heart is heavy and that you don't want to live without the [...]